Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Randomize