yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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