and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
