last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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