he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
