She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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