As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
