Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
