You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
