I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
