Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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