There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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