he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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