erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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