How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
