He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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