Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
