if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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