She's JV to your varsity
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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