hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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