Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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