You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think your dad took our porno
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
