the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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