So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Quick, to the slutcave!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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