as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
