Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
