Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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