I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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