please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
