I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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