i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
