dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
