If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize