I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
