Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
