Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
