Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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