Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
