life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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