I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
and you fell through a lawn chair
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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