and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
