Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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