i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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