I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
