Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
