Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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