Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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