Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize