someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
