she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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