Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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