so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
they're like a gay fantastic four
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
