you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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