i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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