There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
