I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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