I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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