i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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