She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
